What is your life’s purpose? It is a useful question for many people. But how could you ever know for sure that your life’s purpose is what you think it is? I have spent a lot of time contemplating this question. Then one day it occurred to me that I could never be absolutely sure what my life’s purpose is and whether I am succeeding in fulfilling that purpose. Then I had what felt like a revelation: If I waited for the true answer to “what is my life’s purpose?” I might not ever know for sure. But I could learn how to choose my life’s purpose and tweak it along the way.
Making a choice turns out to be more complicated than it sounds. Much research has been performed on how we make choices, and it turns out to be quite complex. Ariely (2008) has written about many ways that our choices are influenced without our even knowing it. For example, comparisons with other people and things may influence our choices because we begin to notice the possible outcomes differently based on what we see in them. Another example could be too many choices which can result in the inability to decide at all.
Pam Grout (2014) writes about the effect our belief systems have on the way we see life. If we believe something, there is a better chance that we will find it than if we believe it is not there. Further, consciously choosing to look for the positive aspects of every situation brings a sense of being in control, and that can enhance our self-esteem.
In addition, there are ways to “intentionally” choose to improve our lives. For example, new research has suggested ways to improve the function of an aging brain. These ways include such things as physical exercise, paying attention to the present moments, and learning new things. (https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/change-is-a-choice: Nurturing neuroplasticity in your life. September 30, 2015)
Consciously making life choices can feel empowering. I recommend we spend more time choosing what we think we want from life, and then we can notice whether we feel happier because of our choices. If we do not get the results we want, then we can make other choices and notice the results of the new decision.
Rather than trying to be perfect (which cannot ever happen for long), we can learn to enjoy the process of consciously learning to make changes. Our feelings can guide us to choose what we think will make us happy or happier each step of the way.
The goal then is not perfection; the goal is to enjoy the process. As stated by Sheehan Ivengar (2010):
“We measure our lives using different markers: years, major events, achievements. We can also measure them by the choices we make, the sum total of which has brought us to wherever and whoever we are today. When we view life through this lens, it becomes clear that choice is an enormously powerful force, an essential determinant of how we live.”
In conclusion, life choices can be fun and empowering. Rather than being afraid we might make a “bad” decision about a particular choice, we can learn to select a direction that seems right, then tweak it as more information is gathered. The power is in knowing we can learn along the way.
References:
Ariely, Dan (2008). Predictably Irrational, Revised and Expanded Edition: The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions. Harper Collins, New York.
Grout, Pam (2014). E-Squared: Nine Do It Yourself Energy Experiments That Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality. Hay House.
Ivengar, Sheena (2010). The Art of Choosing. New York, Boston.