Student Benefits

Why me? The Struggles of a High School Outcast

By Anthony J. Ciafardini & Rebecca K. Loehrer
January 2006

High school is a time when the day is measured in periods, school books are kept in lockers, and popularity is perceived as everything. Somewhere in the United States a student sits in a classroom struggling to comprehend the periodic table of elements in his 6^th period Chemistry class. Suddenly the student is interrupted by a small saturated paper ball commonly referred to as a “spit ball” hitting the back of his head. He hears the sound of quiet laughter and whispering in the background. The humiliated student remains silent because he has been reminded through previous encounters, “stitches are for snitches.”

The student’s experience I refer to is not uncommon for the adolescents I see three days a week at my internship. We are living in a time when eating disorders, substance abuse, depression, and violence are on the rise in today’s high schools. It is sometimes easier for a high school student to get a gun than an education (U.S. Department of Education & U. S. Department of Justice, 1998). The faces are different but what is frightening is that the stories are the same. “Faggot,” “geek,” “whore,” “slut,” and “freak” are some of the painful labels given to students.

I see the students that do not necessarily fit into the popular click. They are the kids that do not play sports or run for a class office, not because they are incapable but because they are ridiculed by others. These kids are the proclaimed outcasts. They are the ones who are usually draped in black clothing wearing a t-shirt with some obscure band name (usually music that would give PTA moms a nightmare or two). We are quick to be judgmental when we see these kids. It is sad we no longer see them as potential scholars but as potential school shooters.

As counselors-in-training we are consistently reminded to be aware of our own biases and not judge those we counsel. When we talk with our adolescent clients about their struggles and pain we must not be so quick to label them as bipolar, borderline, or antisocial. They already have been branded with painful labels. We must use discretion when we diagnose an adolescent. It is crucial to remember a lot of what is seen on the outside is how they are feeling on the inside. I have found that it is not what you say to them but it is how you listen.

Yes for some high school is a time of fond memories, football games, and first romances, but for others every day is a struggle for survival. High school for many is not an American Pie but more of a Dangerous Minds. Certainly many high schools have fine qualities, but unfortunately these qualities are often overshadowed by resentment and pain. If you think this sounds overly dramatic, fortunate for you. You probably fit in.

U. S. Department of Education U. S. Department of Justice (1998). Annual report on school safety. Washington DC: Author. Retrieved November 13, 2005 from the internet: http://www.ed.gov/PDFDocs/schoolsafety.pdf

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